Wow, gross.

Last night, I couldn't sleep. Admittedly, I've felt off since Friday, but something was worse than just off. I fell asleep around 11:30 pm and woke up at 12:30 am. I never fall asleep before midnight, so that was weird, but I think it was only because I had a long day at work.

So, still awake and unable to sleep, the stomach pains started at like 3:30.... and the vomiting started at five.

I'm pretty sure I have food poisoning.

Now I'm trying to drink fluids, because I'm finally able to sit up without vomiting.

Mopey Mondays

I always dread Mondays because I know I'm gonna struggle to get out of bed in the morning. Plus, I had a really hard time getting to sleep last night and wasn't actually able to until two or three in the morning. So what did I do in the mean time? Write.

Now, I know.... I said I couldn't write about an original idea to save my life, but I guess that was a bit of a lie. It's more accurate to say that my original ideas are few and come about at bizarre intervals. Right now, I'm taking a short script that I wrote back in early 2009 and turning it into a feature length screenplay. I only let one person read the original short script and his main comment was that it should be part of something larger rather than standing on its own. So, that's what I'm doing.

I've never written a feature before and the task that lies in front of me is daunting. My goal is to have the first draft of it written by graduation. If I don't have some sort of deadline, it's never going to get done. Even with a deadline, the chances of it getting done are still very slim to none.

I don't know, but I'm having kind of a lame evening. It's times like these that I wish I was back at school and around friends.

Welcome... to my blog?

Hi.

My name is Renae and I'm 21 years old. About two months ago, I moved completely across the country from Massachusetts to Los Angeles, California. This is the first time I've lived outside of New England and only the second time I've ever been to California.

So, why am I here, hundreds of miles away from my Irish-Catholic/Mixed bag family? I'm in my senior year of college, so the time has come for me to do my internship. Every student in the Communications Media program at my college is required to complete a full-time semester long internship in their concentration. My concentration is Video Production, but having discovered that I actually wanted to be working on motion pictures, I'm working as a development intern for film producers until I graduate in May.

I chose to work in development for my internship because it's what I thought I wanted to do. It combines picking apart other peoples' writing and film, without having to write myself. After all, I'm a terrible writer myself and couldn't an original idea out of my head to save my life. I'm much better at analyzing and discovering why other people's writing sucks. But now, I'm thinking that I have another calling.

I'm not meant to sit at a desk, doing the same thing over and over. I'm meant to be up and doing things. I've been thinking about going back to school for film restoration and archiving, or... more simply, saving old movies. However, graduate school is two or three years off and I'm determined to do something worthwhile with the time I've been given. One of my bosses at my internship asked me what my mission statement was and my off-the-cuff reply was, "Be the best at everything ever."

So, where to start?

I don't know yet, really.

I suppose starting this blog is a way for me to decompress and express this underlying fear that I have each day. I don't know what I'll be writing about, just what ever comes to mind, I suppose. After all, I'm bound to do something with my life, it's just a matter of figuring out that big first step.